On sleep loss

Last night I was awoken from my slumber by a baby shrieking. I had gone to sleep at 11pm and judging from how shit I felt when I realised I’d been disturbed, I thought it must have been about 5am. It wasn’t. It was 2am.

I lay there for a few minutes listening to the baby shrieking {we have new neighbours in the house that was previously being renovated} and thinking how in a few months it would be me having to drag myself out of bed to comfort the poor mite, when I heard a male voice shouting aggressively “shut up”… “shut up”. The baby wailed louder and I actually felt a bit scared.

Scared of the man shouting, disturbing what is usually a very peaceful row of houses in the village. Scared of what had made him shout at (what sounded like) a tiny baby. Scared as to whether sleep deprivation would ever make me shout like that at Pip. It wasn’t a “please be quiet baby” kind of shout, a plead; it was an angry, aggressive shout. One I could imagine accompanied by a thump, or a shake. [Equally, could just be a shout on it’s own; I really don’t want to judge].

I was also scared by how tired I was when I woke this morning, having taken a while to get back to sleep. It really doesn’t bode well – either I will be exhausted, or, worse, I will start to sleep through Pip’s crying, just like I sleep through my alarm.



  1. That does sound scary – poor baby!
    But as for your own sleep deprivation don’t worry too much. (Easy to say, I know – I worried about it hugely, lost sleep over it!)
    The thing is, although it’s bad, somehow you are built to cope with it. Previously, I’d be a grumpy mess if I had a late night & slept though endless alarms. Now I somehow wake up before daughter starts crying, whatever time it is. I think you become a bit of a focused machine and pregnancy (with all it’s less than pleasant side effects) somehow trains you for it all.
    And if you do get annoyed, you can do a pretty angry shhhhing which still sounds soothing to a baby …
    Sleep well, and I hope your neighbours will too!
    (hope this makes sense – I’m pretty sleep deprived!)

  2. Ugh, that sounds horrible. :(

    Try not to worry, love. I used to be a really heavy sleeper but no more. It will drive you made when you’re heavily pregnant and exhausted and everyone keeps telling you it’s “nature’s way” of preparing you for life with a newborn, but it really is true, by the time the baby arrives you’ll already be quite accustomed to sleeping in much shorter bursts, thanks to the discomfort and pressure on your bladder. And then the hormones kick in and even women who previously slept through their alarms find themselves wide awake at the slightest sound.

    Try to enjoy your deep slumbers while you can, if you’re anything like me you’ll really miss them. Probably for the rest of our lives…

  3. Oh, and the other thing I worried about was how I would possibly survive on such little sleep and not become an axe murderer when up to that point I had found it difficult to function on less than 9 hours. It’s truly amazing how you adapt. Not only did I not kill anyone, I was fine. You will be too. x

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